Step #1-- Do hard shit...hard shit is relative! Before you do a Marathon do a half and before you do a half do a 10K, so on and so forth – the takeaway is at one point a 5k is hard shit...just do hard shit – it is irrelevant if that shit is hard to other people – totally irrelevant...remember it’s your hard shit and if you do hard shit it will become easy shit, then you will need to find new shit...A while ago at XML we started using the term F.U.N.. We use the acronym F.U.N. usually after doing hard workouts! So, if someone asks how the workout was you reply - “F.U.N.”. This begs the question what does it stand for?
F*@k’n Unbelievably Nasty! See we look for “nasty” stuff to test us! Nasty stuff prepares you for the shit life will throw at you!
Step #2 -- Stop complaining about shit! Really just stop...it’s that easy. It doesn’t mean we don’t acknowledge or talk about stuff; we just do it with a different intent. Using “F.U.N.” is a way we acknowledge the struggle in a fun way!
With that said here are two tools you can add to your “toolbox” that help with changing your relationship with complaining:
A.) If something challenging happens to you and you need to be sad or in a complaining mindset then give yourself a time limit to inhabit that space. If you are new to this maybe start with 48 hours* with the intent that as you exercise this muscle, you will be able to reduce the time you sit in a negative place!
Note: clearly this might need to be adjusted to the actual cause of the “upset” and for this post we are not referring to traumatic life events but more daily life disruptions.
B.) ONLY COMPLAIN TO THE PERSON WHO CAN AFFECT THE COMPLAINT – if you have an issue with your husband and you complain to your friend then you're talking to the wrong person...the quickest way to a resolution is to speak with the person who the is issue is with...this does not mean that you don’t seek advice, just make sure that you aren’t disguising a complaint in the form of seeking advice!
This brings me to something very important...what if you are complaining a lot about something with literally no solutions – IE THE WEATHER??? The solution here is simple – just stop...if you live in Austin and you complain about the heat or live in Minnesota and complain about the cold you are just a complainer...sorry but you aren’t helping anyone! Now, we are all human, progress not perfection - as long as you have an awareness of this when you are doing it then you are building your emotional intelligence which is great!
PRO TIP: Do your workouts when you planned...if you planned to run Friday morning don’t change the run because it’s raining – just run...most of the time races happen at the scheduled time, if you get used to training in different weather you will be ready to race in it. Sometimes the weather is dangerous – I’m not talking about that, sometimes it’s uncomfortable – be uncomfortable and do F.U.N. stuff!
To pull this all together, I have been incredibly proud of the group of athletes I train with and have watched them go out in national competitions and do really, really well...I believe this is the result of a few things: A great group of athletes constantly inspiring and motivating each other (see earlier post “Whose your 5”) and doing hard things regularly. Training in MN all year and running and riding outside builds character.
Do F.U.N. stuff with kick ass people and you’re a bad ass....easy!